1. You are eager to fall asleep.
People are complaining about finding it difficult to sleep, but once your head touches the pillow like this, it’s sleep. Small breeze must not blow you like this, you are already in dreamland. Can’t you see that this is a sign that there is a spirit husband or wife waiting for you on the other side of life?
2. You wake up aroused.
30 minutes sleep and your John Thomas is harder than a rock. What did you do in the dreamland if it’s not that your spirit husband or wife gave you head in your sleep? Think about it.
3. You eat in your dreams.
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Oh you think spirit people are not feeling the pinch of the economy too? But you fall asleep and they are preparing a table before you. If you don’t realise that the food came from the spirit husband or wife you are married to, we don’t know what else to say to you.
4. You have wet dreams.
Your spirit partner was romancing you when you woke up by mistake. Assuming you did not wake up in time, it would have led to coitus. Lucky you, spirit men kuku know where the G-spot is. Imagine waking up to find your legs shaking. Ayayayaya.
5. You have romantic dreams.
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You fall asleep, next thing, you are running around a palm tree on the beach and “Angel of my Life” is playing in the background. Who else would be doing that if not your spirit partner? That’s another sign oh.
6. You smile in your sleep.
Who is making you smile? Quick, answer us. Oh, you cannot talk? LMAO. Happy married life. May this spirit marriage do you well.
7. You wake up with aches all over your body.
Perhaps you have starved your spirit partner of sex and they used that opportunity to put you in 70 positions in 30 minutes. There’s no other explanation for that ache. It’s your spirit partner collecting the mekwe you owe them.
8. You wake up feeling refreshed.
If you wake up feeling refreshed, there’s no doubt about it: your spirit partner is good at what they do. Maybe they gave you a massage with happy ending. See how you are glowing. Spirit preek dey sweet oh.
9. You are single in real life.
Let me ask you: if you are dating someone, would you want them to be taken by someone else? Oho. Now look at this: you have a spirit partner in the other world, and you are expecting to find love on this earth, it can’t work out. If you are single, better stop searching and prepare your pillow. Your spirit partner is waiting for you.
10. You assume sexual positions when you sleep.
You are going to bed but you are assuming doggy position. Who are you deceiving? You better print your wedding card and figure out how to transport your friends to the dream world so they can attend your wedding.
11. You are angry when you are woken from sleep.
Think about it: if it’s not that you are angry about being separated from your spiritual partner, why should you squeeze your face in disgust when you are woken up? You better start praying now. We have kuku said our own.
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